Blissful Sunday Reader,
What happens when we override messages urging us to refuel?
We all have tales of pouring from empty reserves out of obligation...
Until one bold soul proclamation shifts everything.
This week, we dive deep on unexpected self-love through upholding empowered boundaries.
Tales from the frontlines where I learned to say no - and how speaking your truth, while uncomfortable first, carves space for yes...
Now, cozy in with your favorite brew as we begin our Sunday Soul-Care ritual...
SOUL-POWERED BOUNDARIES
I've recently recognized an unexpected dimension of self-love I long struggled with - enforcing boundaries to protect my energy.
In past few weeks I attended various workshops, events or gatherings, hoping to absorb inspiration. Instead, at many of them, I left utterly depleted, having gained little while feeling physically drained.
This pattern brought an important awareness - as an entrepreneur birthing various passionate and blissful projects, I cannot afford activities that sap my drive and thriving inner spark.
Decades of Pouring from an Empty Pitcher
I traced this challenge back through my life's journey, realizing I had endured decades of pouring from an empty pitcher because I believed selflessness was noble. Most intensely while caretaking for my mother during her harrowing Alzheimer's descent.
The daily disturbance of stabilizing someone locked in torment while simultaneously working full-time in corporate management frayed my last nerves. No matter the turmoil her cries unleashed within me, I persisted in comforting her first above all else.
My Blueprint said caring for others eclipsed self-preservation.
Until after years of intermittent illness and adrenal fatigue, I finally registered the oxygen mask metaphor. I could not help anyone if asphyxiating myself slowly through self-neglect.
So I began the excruciating dismantling of martyr conditioning - daring to leave my mom earlier despite cries of perceived abandonment. Preserving Sundays for me-time rather than our default togetherness for the full weekend. Each act of self-honoring allowing me to show up as my best self rather than a depleted ghost.
With practice, I created space to both hold my own fragile heart and nurture my mother’s without fully sacrificing myself.
But it took eons to realize I was worthy too - not selfish, but self-loving through upholding boundaries.
Protecting Our Soul Fire
Now when I sense my soul-fire waning, I take swift action, as in these energy-depleting gatherings I experienced recently …
Setting very high expectations towards myself in everything I do, I also enter each event with those high expectations - to learn, expand my thinking, gain value.
So when hosts totally lack meaningful preparation and direction during the gathering, I honestly feel used.
When I came anticipating guidance and insights to grow, however gained nothing while even losing my productivity afterwards, I feel depleted.
Valuing Our Energy & Time
Our time is precious, for all of us.
But how often do we override messages from Self urging us to slow down and recharge, rather than deplete through activities failing to resonate?
Yet we owe it to ourselves to place our inner wisdom first.
To stand firmly when someone claims our precious time and priceless energy without deserving our gifts.
We owe it to choose how we wish to feel - uplifted through substance and soul connection rather than mediocrity.
We know in our heart's core when an experience fails to contribute value reciprocal to what we offer.
And though discernment strengthens in time regarding where we shine, we must begin asserting boundaries now.
That shows self-love in action - advocating for our energy and time not being carelessly squandered. And fueling ourselves through mindful engagement only.
I cannot sparkle with bliss outwardly if I allow others’ lack of care to dim my inner energy steadily. I cannot guide others to freedom while denied myself.
The choice is clear though not always easy.
Yet each courageous “no” carves wider bandwidth for the yes closest to my soul.
Start small yet determined in courageously claiming space for your soul to guide the way.
Our time here is precious.
Let's use it wisely, soulfully and for our own growth.
Steps to Take Back Your Power
Join me in taking back your power one self-honoring choice at a time.
What activities, environments or obligations consistently fatigue your fiery spirit?
Start vigilantly noticing when and why happiness fades.
Only by becoming aware of energy vampires can you start to unhook their power and defend your high-vibe reserves.
- Identify Anchoring Activities
Make a list of people, passions and practices that never fail to rejuvenate your soul - no matter how weary you felt initially.
These are your go-to’s.
They may include beloved friends, expressive arts, communion with nature or a cherished instrument awaiting your touch.
Prioritize immersing here frequently.
Start gently establishing personal boundaries likely long ignored.
Saying no gets easier in time as you honor authentic needs.
It just takes one bold moment of holding your highest self sacrosanct before this muscle memory embeds.
You’ve got this!
Small steps matter.
- Limit Energy-Sucking Media
Minimize technology streams or conversations chronically directing attention outward.
Sustaining your inner clarity requires vigilant choice on where you place focus - and depth over distraction serves visionaries.
- Explore Conversation Pivoting
There’s an art to verbally guiding unwelcome interactions back to terrain that nourishes you.
Master subtle language cues conveying “I appreciate this exchange and need to excuse myself now.”
Preserve your sanity and selfhood!
Eastern traditions speak of "Idiot Compassion" - the self-sacrifice we may feel compelled towards in order to ease or 'save' others while our own inner foundations crumble. This imbalanced care depletes rather than sustains right relationship. True compassion requires modeling wholeness through courageously upholding boundaries - so we fill others from our overflow rather than while running on empty. Discern times to say no from wisdom rather than guilt, obligation or fear of losing conditional approval. Your wellbeing must not depend on external validation. You deserve to shine brightly for its own sake!
Journaling Prompt: TUNING INTO YOU
When feeling drained or uninspired, pause and get curious - what does your spirit truly want or need in this moment?
Grab your journal and set a timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes, get grounded, and let your authentic longings flow uncensored onto the page.
Capture whatever arises - a longing for rest, creative expression, favorite foods, connection with loved ones or nature.
Don't limit yourself. Your Higher Self seeks full spectrum nourishment.
Practice tuning into this inner compass directing you to what would feel supportive.
See how even 5 minutes of checking in shifts your state.
Those feeling seen and heard can then show up more energized to serve highest priorities aligned with soul.
“
"SAVING YOURSELF MAY BE THE MOST SELFLESS ACT OF ALL."
— Iyanla Vanzant
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USE: Master the art of Saying NO by starting with helpful scripts.
Click over to explore templates for gracefully saying "no" in various situations without guilt or awkwardness. Whether at work, home or socially, you'll gain confidence to stand firm in your truth - a critical muscle supporting our personal growth journey.
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TRY: Cruise through world cities without leaving your home
This blissful website lets you do just that: Click anywhere on the map and suddenly you're immersed in the regional rhythms of that locale. Pretend you've teleported yourself to a brand new destination. Meander through winding side streets while listening to local sounds and radio stations; from Berlin's underground electro pulse to Rio's breezy bossa nova, tap into the diverse soundwaves we call home. An imaginative way to experience the vibe of places faraway.
- PONDER: Embracing the Soft Girl Lifestyle
Young women are increasingly turning away from the demanding girlboss ethos, opting instead for a serene and leisurely approach to life through the soft girl aesthetic. This emerging trend challenges traditional views on achievement and raises an intriguing debate: Could this shift towards gentleness and self-care inadvertently steer us back towards outdated patriarchal standards? Read more about it here!
Artwork: Poem, by Milady A
No
There's power in this tiny word,
yet often I have not conferred,
The strength my voice contains,
When I'm setting healthy bounds and reins.
I used to say yes through clenched teeth,
Ignoring my wisdom beneath,
The desires of another placed first,
While my own light dimmed and coerced.
But my soul urged me to decide,
Will you cast your needs aside?
Lose your sense of self once more,
Trying to please and to implore?
So now with care I set each line,
Protect the peace within that's mine,
Gracefully say no when I must,
It's not selfish but wise and just.
This simple word now holds great might,
Allowing me to stand in my light,
As I shed old patterns without fear,
Owning my right to hold limits dear.
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